JOURNAL

you're looking for pictures of yourself cheering at the protest, i'm looking for video footage of 10 cops kicking me in the head / i got beat up by cops and all i got was this citation blatantly lying about what happened

she said "i feel like i'm lying to you" (about something she does with him) and then she said "i feel like i'm lying to him" (about something she does with me)

thinking about the time there was someone tattooing at a punk show but it was an outdoor gig so the tattoo gun was hooked up to the generator and everyone was like "omg gas-powered tattoos". anyway that's what diy feels like every day if you do it right :-)

whenever i think about the the allegory of the long spoons (or the long chopsticks) i think about mutual aid - if you freely share your resources with others, then others will just as freely share their resources with you. i have been in situations where people have given me money, food, a place to crash, and literally bailing me out of jail, and i truly believe that's not because i particularly deserve special treatment or anything, but because when i have resources, i make an effort to distribute them amongst my loved ones and beyond. one could think of it as karma, doing to others as you would have them do to you, and those may be correct in a sense, but to me, as an anti-capitalist anarchist non-denominational leftist, it feels more like intentional community building, and benefitting from the abundance we have when we pool our resources. no one has to be without shelter or nourishment, we have all the skills we need to create connections that allow redistribution amongst our wider networks. if we keep our resources to ourselves, we end up hurting ourselves as well as others, in denying us all of an opportunity to not just survive but thrive. so when you feed others, you in turn are fed. das mutual aid bayybeee

i realized recently that i've been teaching myself to cook the same way i've been teaching myself how to code (difficult to explain rn but i feel like the same things are lighting up in my brain whenever i do each of them)

some adjectives to describe me:

• transsexual (in the sense that i have transitioned away from my assigned gender/sex)
• agender (in the sense that i do not feel a particular attachment to any gender)
• non-binary (in the sense that my expression/gender does not fall onto either end of the male/female binary)
• androgynous (in the sense that my presentation is both male and female at the same time and yet neither as well)
• queer (in that i reject heteronormative sexuality and relationships)
• bisexual & pansexual (in the sense that i am attracted to people who are my gender and also people who are not my gender)
• non-monogamous & polyamorous (in the sense that i maintain multiple relationships that do not conform to monogamous expectations of romance, longevity, physical proximity, or sensuality)